This One's For You

In the most wonderful turn of events that has ever occurred, I will be returning to the Appalachian Trail on July 11th.  Just call it yet another extension on my bedtime: one of my friends that I was hiking with likened my desire to remain on the trail for a longer duration to the pleas of a middle schooler attempting to persuade her parents to let her stay at a friends’ house longer than initially promised.  “Mom, I know you wanted me home at 4:30, but we’re not done watching a movie.  Can I stay until 5:00?” he would mock, as I called my mom to explain that I wanted to make it to the halfway point on the trail before returning home, rather than to my initial goal of Harpers Ferry, West Virginia, which would be just short of that mark.  “So we finished the movie, but Alyssa’s parents said I could stay for dinner, so can we make it 7:00 instead?” he would continue, exhibiting his proclivity for creating complete stories out of thin air in order to make fun of others, as I called her again to explain how the halfway point put me partway into Pennsylvania and I wanted to try to make it completely through that state before getting off-trail.  “The Robinsons are having a game night after dinner and they’re playing Monopoly and that’s my favorite game, Mom, you know it’s my favorite, so can I please just stay until 9:00?” he said, rolling his eyes in the background as I had yet another phone conversation with my mother about how the trail through New Jersey was only a few days’ worth of walking, so I might as well make it to New York and cross another state off of my list before legitimately reaching my deadline and being forced to leave the trail in order to attend the first of two family gatherings.  “TR, you’re spiraling out of control,” Squabbler informed me after I hung up the phone from my final changing-of-plans discussion with my mother.  “You’re the one who convinced me to stay on trail until the halfway point,” I reminded him, “so really, this is all your fault.”  “I know. I’ve created a monster,” he admitted.  “But Moooom, I just wanna go to Maine with my friends!” he continued, refusing to abandon his mockery of my situation despite the role that he played in it.

And now, it would appear that I am indeed going to go to Maine with my friends.  Upon arriving back in South Carolina and having many a discussion with my mom about the events of the past few months and how much of the trail I had left, she suddenly declared, “Alright. I don’t care what else happens, but when we get back from Canada, I’m taking you to wherever your friends are on the trail.”  I was taken aback.  I had set aside the rest of my summer to devote my time to family gatherings and trips with my mother, and here she is telling me to go back to the trail and hang out with my friends?  This was basically the equivalent of her calling Alyssa’s parents while we were in the middle of our game of Monopoly and telling them that I could just go ahead and spend the night.  I came to the conclusion that either my mom is very generous and invested in my happiness and success, or that after just a few short hours with me in the house, she realized that she wanted me out of there.  Whichever of these is closer to the truth, it doesn’t change the fact that I am, once again, Katahdin-bound.  I will still have miles to hike next summer before I can consider myself completely done with the AT, but the current plan is to catch up with my hiking partners somewhere in New Hampshire and to summit Katahdin with them sometime in early August.

So what is it that keeps pulling me in, continues to draw me into this life of sleeping on the ground and eating ramen and wearing sweaty, smelly, soggy clothing day in and day out?  What is it that makes the backwoods a more desirable place to spend my days rather than leading a life of sleeping in on the weekends and drinking Starbucks every morning and wearing shoes that don’t rub a different blister each day I walk another 25 miles in them?  It turns out that this is one of the more difficult questions I’ve ever tried to answer.  It’s the most multi-faceted issue I can think of that I’ve been wrapped up in, and it’s truly impossible to completely explain.  It’s about the way the trail makes me feel.  It’s about how the trail has molded my view on humanity.  It’s about how the trail has helped me realize how far I am actually able to push myself, both physically and mentally.  In the three months that I’ve spent out there so far, I have made more close friends than I ever imagined I would going into this trip, been on the receiving end of so much kindness and generosity from countless strangers, and been in and pushed through more physical pain than any reasonable person would ever want to experience.  I learned a great deal more about myself and about the world that we are a tiny little part of than I expected to.  I fell in love, both with the geographic region we’ve walked so many miles through and with the hiker community that has surrounded me during every step.  Because it truly is a community.  Here we are, this collective of intentionally jobless and homeless humans, out there in the natural world going through the same trying, ridiculous, and beautiful journey one step at a time.  It’s a crazy thing that we do, and it continuously takes my breath away how something as simple as a footpath can bring so many people from so many different walks of life together in such a profound way.  The number of people I met who directly impacted my experience on the trail is hard to wrap my head around, but I do truly feel like the vast majority of people I interacted with had some sort of effect on my time on the AT.

The most obvious and significant of these people is my dear friend Kylie.  It is literally impossible to separate her from the trail in my mind.  I couldn’t even begin to truly explain the impact that she has had on my trail experience and on my life in general.  From the beginning, I have felt like we were meant to find each other on the trail, and whatever forces brought us so randomly together, I couldn’t be more thankful for.  Leaving my life in Oklahoma behind for the trail was a difficult and shocking transition, and meeting Kylie immediately helped that transition go much more smoothly.  I felt an immediate bond with her, and it is a bond that has only grown stronger as each day has gone by.  Nothing brings people together more closely and quickly than backpacking.  You see each other in the most unflattering of lights and the most difficult of situations, and if you can make it through that, you can make it through anything.  Well, I think it’s safe to say that Kylie and I have made it through.  For the better part of three months, we hiked together, ate together, and even got sick together.  She’s been my sherpa when my knees were too bad to stand, my cheerleader when I was finding the pain really difficult to push through, and my life coach when my personal life was causing me trouble.  In the beginning of the trail when my knees were causing me so much trouble, she always made sure to slow her pace down and stick with me while I suffered through all of the painful ups and downs.  She is intertwined in so many of my best memories on the AT, and she’s personally responsible for many more.  From our discussions on NPR podcasts to always beasting the newlywed game to singing Taylor Swift while night hiking to keep the bears away, there are countless moments I’ve spent with her that I know I’ll never forget.  She is intelligent and beautiful and hilarious, and I can no longer imagine my life without her.  I feel so lucky to have met her, and I know that ours is a friendship that I will treasure for the rest of my life.  I love you, Kylie, Team Two Moms forever!

Wookie is another person who has had a great impact on my time on the AT.  From the beginning, he became personally invested in my physical condition as we attempted to conquer our knee issues together (after backpacking, nothing brings people together like shared pain).  I’ll never forget how he forced me to switch my full pack out with his tiny, super-light pack on day six while he was slackpacking in order to help relieve some of the pain in my knees.  No one but a true friend would threaten to inflict more pain on you if you refused their order to alleviate some of your current pain by relying on them.  It was also thanks to Wookie that I spent my first night in a stranger’s home, and this was my introduction to the selfless group of people who surround the AT who are willing to invest their valuable time and energy towards helping out thru-hikers.  The perfect combination of kind, sarcastic, and hilarious, Wookie brought a level of fun to the trail that we would have definitely been worse off without!  He also threw in a zero day in New York that was completely unnecessary to him so that I could see him again before I had to head off-trail, further exhibiting his completely selfless nature.  I can’t imagine the trail without him!

Uphill is yet another person who shaped my AT experience from the beginning.  He also pitched in as much as my pride would allow when I was struggling so much with my knees.  Several times during that first week, he would hike ahead, make it to camp, and return to where I was in order to take my pack and carry it back to where he had already dropped his things.  I would have completely lost my mind before making it to North Carolina if he hadn’t been around with his constant hilarity and cheerfulness while living in the cloud for four days.  On my last day on the AT for June, he backtracked miles that he had already done so that he could spend the night at the same shelter as me.  He even brought beer with him!  Uphill is one of those people who always has a positive attitude, no matter the circumstance.  He very unfortunately contracted Lymes Disease while on trail and had to take far more days off than he was planning on, but he still had a smile on his face and a “what can ya do?” attitude while relaying his story to us.  I admire his positivity and perseverance through a less than ideal situation, and I can’t wait to see where his vigor for life brings him next!

There were many people on the trail whom I didn’t get to know as well as those three, but who still left an impression in my mind. 

Rowan, turned Sherbs, turned Friction, is a person who impressed me from the beginning with his wisdom and maturity far beyond his years.  He came to thru-hike the AT straight out of high school, with set plans to attend college in the fall once he was done.  I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone his age who could handle something like the AT on their own, but he has been killin’ it since day one out there, and it never fails to impress me!  Friction, you’ll always be Sherbs to me, but you’re one kickass dude.

Ox and I were brought together instantly by our shared knee problems.  Both of us being 20-somethings who felt way too young to be suffering that much from joint issues, our bond was formed over complaining about all of the pain we were in (and Oreos).  Despite hiking at different paces for most of the trip, we managed to stay in touch and finally made our schedules match up enough to briefly see each other on my last day on trail.  Ox, I’ll always think of you when I see Oreos and the knee brace that I don’t have to wear anymore—go us for making it this much further than we probably should have!

Freebie was always so open and vibrant, and she welcomed me in from the first night that I spent apart from Kylie when she and I got separated.  Her tendency to call everything she enjoyed her “favorite” constantly reminded me to appreciate the little things in life.

Doc’s subtle hilarity made me enjoy her presence from the first time I met her.  Her excitement for Sullivan’s arrival to camp at the end of every day never failed to make me smile.  I could always count on her for some wisecrack followed by a mischievous grin.

Yellow, aptly named, carried a sunny disposition around with her wherever she went.  I believe the only thing I ever heard her complain about was how hiking the AT was ruining one of her favorite features: her perfect arches.  I’m glad to have gotten to spend the time with her that I did, even though she says that when she thinks of me, she just thinks of goats.

Translator’s ability to transform any conversation into a charade always made it entertaining to be around him.  There was never a dull moment sitting around the “dinner table” while he was there.  I’ll also always be jealous of his very accurate elephant impression.

Tree Arm is yet another example of endless positivity.  There seems to be a theme here amongst the hikers of the AT.  His colorful hiking stick certainly matched his personality.  Visiting the ponies of the Greyson Highlands with him was one of my most unique experiences on the AT, and I got to cross the momentous 500-mile mark with him! 

Coco & Magnus are a perfect example of what a marriage should be.  They clearly have so much love and respect for each other, and they are undertaking something together that most couples would never even think of attempting.  I hope that I can have a marriage like y’alls someday.  Also, y’all are just cool as hell.  Keep up the good work.

I never knew I could actually like a person from New Jersey until I met Twiggy.  This girl definitely knows how to have a good time, and her laughter is contagious!  She makes every situation a fun one to be in, and there is nobody I’d rather feed goats and chickens with. 

I met 12% in late March on my first day back on trail after a four-day hiatus to let my knees recover.  I was feeling particularly vulnerable after being off-trail for so long right at the beginning of my hike, and I was doubting my ability to make it any real distance on the AT.  That evening, I hiked into the nearest shelter from where I got dropped off.  After arriving at the shelter, 12%’s first greeting to me was “Wait…you’re a girl?!”  He had seen me coming up the trail from across the way, and he said “I saw you booking it this way, and I was just thinking, ‘That person’s a thru-hiker.  They’re going to Maine.’  And then you get here and you’re a girl!  You’re a beast.”  I don’t think he had any idea the impact that his words had on me, but that was exactly the confidence boost I needed on that first day back.  Sadly, since he had already completed a thru-hike of the AT back in 2010, he was only doing a section of it this year.  He’s out west now, working on his completion of the PCT, and we’ve definitely missed him since he left!

I met Chappy the same night that I met 12%, and I got a pretty good picture right off the bat of what a character he is.  He’s always got some quip to throw your way, and there is never a lack of things to talk about while conversing with him.  It’s always hilarious hearing him recount the various situations he has found himself in on the trail.  And even though he called me Smiley for at least the first month that I knew him, he was the one who gave me my trail name on that first night we met.  So really, TR exists because she met Chappy.

GQ and Walking Man have inspired me since I met them due to their commitment to family and to reaching their goals.  Seeing this father/son thru-hiking duo be so successful on the trail makes me want to drag my mom out here for at least a section at some point, and I think it’s very admirable that they’re completing this trek together.  

Billy is an incredibly genuine and down to earth guy.  It’s been a good while since we’ve hiked with him, but I met him very early on in my trip and always enjoyed being around him.  His career path and math abilities are way over my head and out of my area of expertise, but it was fun and very impressive learning about everything that he is capable of.  I can even forgive him for being from Texas.

Sweet Pea is one kickass chick!  She is so genuine and she has a wonderful outlook on life and on the trail.  I wish I had gotten to hike with her more, but I still enjoy keeping up with her hike through social media.  I also have her to thank for my treasured horse shirt—she ditched it on a tree along the trail, where I came along and retrieved it for myself, not knowing who its previous owner was.  I’ll think of her every time I wear it!  Sweet Pea, thanks for reading my fairy fortune to me at Woods Hole and reminding me that I needed a vacation—I came back to the trail renewed and ready to make it to Maine!  You’re one of the strongest people I know and I’m constantly impressed by your approach to this journey!

I’m not so sure that I can forgive Squabbler for being from Texas, since it was something that he reminded me about on a daily basis.  However, I will say that hiking with him was one of the more interesting times I had.  Being around Squabbler, you don’t have to worry about coming up with things to talk about, because he will fill any potential voids with his constant stream of consciousness.  From the time he wakes up until the time he goes to sleep, he always has something to say.  We always said we wouldn’t have to worry about seeing any bears on trail with him, because his vocal projections would frighten away all of the wildlife long before we were within reach of it.  But on a serious note, Squabbler was very accommodating and welcomed me into his group immediately upon meeting me after I got separated from Kylie again.  He is definitely one of the more entertaining people I have ever met, and I genuinely enjoyed spending time with him.  When he had a friend come to visit him on the trail, he offered up a spot for me to sleep at the house at which they were staying so I could do laundry and sleep in a bed for a night.  Even though not a day goes by where he doesn’t make fun of my degree from Oklahoma, I am very glad to have gotten to spend the time around Squabbler that I did.

Salmon is probably the nicest human I have ever met.  The only time I have ever heard anything negative come out of his mouth is when he called a deer an asshole for not taking the food that he threw towards it.  If anything close to an insult slips out, he immediately apologizes, even if said apology is completely unnecessary.  His knowledge of all things fish-related kept some learnin’ in the AT for me, and his aquatic expertise helped my little cousin Caroline rescue a crawdad from its imminent death at a crawfish boil in Charlottesville and make it her pet.

I absolutely love being around Papalu because he is one of the most outwardly happy people I have ever met.  He always seems to have a smile on his face, and I have found it to be impossible to be in a bad mood while in his presence.  Even though it became very difficult to take anything he said seriously once the moustache found its way onto his face, I always had a great time hiking and hanging out with him!  Trying to guess whether it was Vienna sausages or cat food that his mom had sent in his latest maildrop is one of my favorite past times.  Sorry for using the hair dryer in your hotel room to dry my shoes and create the worst smell in the world, but thanks for all the smiles!

Chimney is a guy who always tells it like it is.  Watching him get annoyed at Hip’s constant cheeriness and listening to him argue about which region of Massachusetts is better (seriously, your state’s not that big) was always entertaining.  Despite my initial faux pas with the group at Ming’s in Waynesboro (“F you, TR, you’re out!”), he managed to forgive me and put up with me for a few more weeks.

Meeting Fireman was one of the craziest coincidences I encountered on the AT and in life in general!  Who would have thought that I would run into a friend of a friend all the way from South Korea?!  I wish we could have hiked together for a longer amount of time, but I’ll never forget the moment where we realized who each other was.  It’s a small, small world, and I’m glad I ran into you in it, Fireman!

And last but the opposite of least, the person who I knew for the shortest amount of time but who had the largest impact on me was Hip.  Our initial friendship was formed due to a shared love of Clemson, Braum’s, and Teddy Roosevelt, and the random similarities just kept rolling in from there.  Over the month straight that we spent together, we gained the ability to read each other on a level that could only be described as creepy.  He became able to tell exactly what I was thinking by the way I laughed or how long I remained silent after he told a joke I didn’t find funny.  I always pretended to be annoyed by his ridiculous level of enthusiastic positivity, but in reality, it never failed to brighten my day.  Being greeted by a cheery chorus of “Hello! How arrrrre you?” from outside of my tent every morning ensured that I started each day off on the right foot.  He wasn’t just there for the good times, though.  I encountered a whole new set of physical struggles during the stretch of the trail through Pennsylvania, and Hip was more supportive the entire time than I would have thought any person would have even had the potential to be.  There was day after day where I became unable to make the mileage that we had set out for ourselves at the beginning of the day, and not once did he even come close to getting frustrated with me or making me feel bad about my physical inadequacy.  He could always tell when I had reached my limit, and knowing how stubborn I was and understanding my tendency to push past that limit, he would pick out a place to stop and camp and pretend like the early termination of the day was because he didn’t want to go any further.  “I’m fine, let’s keep going,” I would protest.  “No, here looks good, I’m ready to be done for the day,” would be his response, simultaneously saving my body and my pride from becoming run down even further. 

Honestly, if it weren’t for Hip, I would have quit the AT about 200 miles ago.  That section in Pennsylvania really took it out of me, and I was in more pain than I had been since the very beginning of the trail where I also thought I was going to have to quit for good.  The day that we were hiking into Port Clinton, the pain and resulting frustration became so overwhelming that I just sat down on the side of the trail and looked up at Hip in despair.  “I don’t think I can go any further,” I told him.  “I can’t keep pushing through this much pain.”  He reminded me that I had to make whichever decision I believed to be the right one for me and that he would support my choice, no matter what it was.  For the remainder of the day, he did everything he could to keep my mind off of the pain and loaded me up with so much encouragement that it was impossible not to make it.  The next day, he helped me find a new pair of shoes to alleviate some of the pain that I had been in.  So with the combination of the new kicks and Hip’s constant support, I made it all the way to New York, where it was the date that forced me off-trail, not my physical state. 

Hip is the most exemplary example of kindness and selflessness that I have ever had the pleasure of being around.  He makes me into a better hiker with every mile that we walk together, and watching how he interacts with the world and the people in it makes me want to be a better person.  Every day hiking with him was an adventure filled with constant hilarity.  I can't count how many times I just laughed until I cried during the last month.  In addition to the muscle I gained in my legs from hiking, I got an ab workout every day I was with Hip from how much I was laughing.  I wish I could have gotten to meet him prior to the final third of my hike, but I am truly grateful for every moment that we spent together.  The AT wouldn’t have been anywhere close to the experience that it was if it didn’t have him in it.  Hip, I just have one question for you.  Where are all the baby pigeons?

I have never been in any other place in my life where I could spend three months in a place and come up with so many people who have had a direct impact on my life.  The AT community is by far the most amazing one that I have ever been privileged to be a part of.  Even though personal circumstances have prevented me from completing the entire trail in a single go, this has still been one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and there are countless memories, people, and lessons from this time that I will never forget.  Long story short….thanks, AT.  It’s been real.  I’ll be back for you soon.